19 June 2007

In other news

Police are following new leads in the hunt for legendary fugitive artist Paul Faris, sources reveal. Faris has been on the run since his daring daylight robbery of Te Papa in 1999. Spokesperson Stephen Rowe had no comment other than denying rumours Faris is disguised as a nun and teaching life drawing in a Catholic girls' school in Oamaru.

Enjoy Gallery has announced that it is amalgamating with Telecom New Zealand. The new Enjoy Telecom Gallery will be located next to the CEO's office, between the private zoo and the jetcar landing pad.

Creative New Zealand is funding a visit by a group of curators, arts administrators, and collectors to the International Space Station to explore opportunities to market New Zealand art in outer space.

Auckland band Barge are to be the new Fall, rock star and artist Liz Maw announced today. 'When Mark E. Smith heard us, he sacked his band immediately and signed us up on the spot,' she explained. 'All he asked was to be able to write the odd song now and then, and we thought that that would be okay.' The new line-up will perform songs from their new album in Wellington on Friday, 22 June.

Wellington artist, writer, and intellectual David Cauchi is standing for Parliament in the next election. His Common-Sense Nihilist Party 'offers practical help with the futility of existence and promises to completely transform everday life into avant-garde art'. Spokesperson Stephen Rowe said that, as part of the election campaign, Cauchi would challenge David Tua to a boxing match 'to prove his fitness to lead'.

[NB: Only one of these is true.]

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