Here you fucking go then

Yesterday, I got a text from a friend in Dunedin asking 'what, no blogging this year sir?' Today, I discovered a comment on the blog exhorting me to 'Updaten der blog Schnell!'

Demanding cunts. I'm tempted to leave it for another few weeks.

Today is also two weeks since I had a cigarette. It's gone pretty smoothly, all things considered. The great thing is to have something to keep yourself occupied. And to be left alone. I've been mostly playing a computer game, stalking a post-apocalyptic wasteland. And smoking lots of substitute 'herbal' cigarettes of course.

Lots and lots.

So that's why I haven't updaten der fucken blog.

This and that

Well, it's been a fucked up, up and down kind of year. Maybe more fucking down than up, considering.

Next year should be fun. I've heard rumours that none of the staff want to be my supervisor for Masters.

That's kind of gratifying but also annoying.

Arseholes should fucking come to the party, I reckon.

Back in the day

I'm the eldest in my family. I reacted badly when my brother Jeremy came along when I was one and a half. I did the conventional things like try to flush his teddy bear down the toilet and lead him out to play in the traffic.

I showed him those learn to read books that have a picture of a cow on one page and the word 'cow' on the facing page. I'd run my finger under the word 'cow' and say 'sheep'.

Before he could walk or talk, I'd break something, put him next to it, hit him so he'd start crying, and then hide in a good vantage point near-by to watch the ensuing fun. Until the day Mum snapped me, that is.

A few years ago, we were out drinking and talking about this. Jeremy said he wouldn't tell me what the worst thing I did was. He was going to wait till we're older and he'd got his revenge first.

I reckon he's making that up. His sneaky plan is that is his revenge – making me worry – so I am therefore nonchalantly unconcerned.

Fucking family eh?

Bollocksing bollocks

Yesterday, I had a couple of wet paintings lying flat on the table in the sun. The fat bastard monster cat, who is really fucking stupid, promptly walked across them.

Here are the traces left on the table:


The fucking bastard. Now I've got to fix the mess he made. Very annoying.

Ye gods

Quote of the day

Does this outfit make me look fat?

- Liz Maw

Te Horo museum craziness

On our way to Auckland yesterday, we stopped for breakfast at Te Horo.

Breakfast and the crazy museum.

T-shirts

Smith's to wear to The Fall on Monday, Céline's for some friends, and Picabia's just for laughs – and to round out the best of the best: best musician, best writer, and best painter.

Twit

Being fickle, I've signed up to Twitter again. I tried to resurrect my old account, but they weren't having any of it. I even needed a new email address cos my one was 'in use', along with my old username, by the defunct account. Arseholes.

You can find me here.

Colour

Okay, so it's fucking freezing at the moment, but that is an aberration. It has been incredibly hot, bright, and sunny.

And with colours like these to look at:


I've gone lurid:



Fucking animal hair gets everywhere.